The world thaws again, finally

Jason Riley

Mood Analysis
Persistently negative, extremely expressive, emotionally dynamic and using profanities like punctuation but still romantic.

Created on Saturday, 3rd September 2022 at 11:18

IsTinted: True

Day 25: Final day of the month

Friday, 30th September 2022

No point writing today.

51 This all gets flushed tomorrow when the new diary's started, I mean.

52 As we see, highlighted paragraphs are styled differently so you know what you're editing as you, edit..

54 Oops, yeah I'll go start on the gift site's login and click-to-edit functions.

55 Once those are done, I'll start adding pages and make them live like a single-page app, so there's no need to actually leave the landing page to load each, other page: JQuery/AJAX can easily do that, so the whole site operates like a phone/tablet app, instead of here where separate pages were just always how I imagined it'd be.

56 Other site doesn't need to be as complex as this, so it'll be much simpler to start with the app look and feel.

57 One day, I'll be settled enough somewhere to turn the old laptop into a server so I don't have to pay for resourses, or anything: I know how to do it, but need a permenant internet connection with a fixed IP address to have a server online continuously, which I don't currently have since I use my phone for my net.

58 No, lunch first.

59 Our Lovebunny's Brother will be drafted into the war along with every other conscription-aged male, assuming he's not a cripple, able to pay his way out or anle to burrow-in and hide it out.

60 Still hiding alone does not seem a great option, since you would think those people hiding to avoid the war are gunna have to come out sooner or later and I do not see the Kremlin forgetting about it -- even after the war ends.

61 Kinda like, leave Russia is the only way to get out of the ten year gulag sentence, once they catch up with you.

62 Can't believe this war is still going on, really..

63 Sad.

64 Yes, I empathise: dispite my general lack of fucks to give, I've spent weeks first hearing a first-hand account of the Ukrainian war as it happened to Irina *IN* Odesa, then eight months hearing from a Russian woman how fucking shit life is for Russians generally.. being invested of course makes me able to empathise.

Day 24: Outside it all

Thursday, 29th September 2022

I just walked into town.

70 At 7:30PM, well after dark which is outside the norm for me: usually I like to be back with whatever I need for the night before it gets cold and dark and shitty out; not because there's ooky spookies outside at night, but because I like to KNOW I've done what I need to before around dinner time so I can just settle-into what I want to do until bedtime.

71 But I had not gone in earlier and could not bare my own laziness to see me without sugar or milk all night, or the tea/coffee goes with that.

72 I'm walking in, rain drizzling but only lightly with a cool but not arctic wind, when I almost instantly notice peoples lights on in their houses..

73 I walk past one house and see two people watching some shit on TV then think 'People actually DO that still??', few houses further along I hear someone practicing a tuba or saxaphone or whatever and - like the TV - wonder why are they doing that? Maybe a 1-in-10,000 chance if they REALLY stick with it they'll be good enough to make a career of it, but 9,999 people of that 10,000 never do that: most of us dabble in whatever takes our interest for a while then give up once it either starts getting boring or hard, or something more shiny comes along that's fresh and new - it's human nature.

74 The more I walk, the more I look in these houses as I go and I realize, I have drifted SO FAR outside of society and it's routines, I literally have no idea why they still do them..

75 I think about the dinners, why the fuck anyone would want to sit around a table and stare at each other eat, that television shit after dinner, the routine breakfast shit and ALL those other little rituals people just seem to follow without thinking about how uneccessary they actually are.

76 I dunno..

77 Half of me thinks yeah "That'd be nice again.." while the other half vehemently jumps-in with "Fark that, you've done that shit dood: all that abiding my others and playing along with shit you don't want to really do, listening to some woman crying for no reason - on and off like a leaky tap - or talking and talking and TALKING at me about shit I have honestly no interest in hearing, but I HAVE to listen and appear interested because, that's what you do."

78 Have I drifted THAT FAR outside common social norms?

79 I must have because when I want dinner, I chuck some vegetables in a saucepan, cook and strain them, chuck some salt or butter or whatever on them and eat 'em right here in front of whatever I'm doing: no group of people sitting around chewing in my ear, no mind-numbing small talk about the boring shit that happened that day - no weird, uneeded shit.

80 Is that wrong? Maybe..

81 I think I'd score significantly higher on a sociopathy test now than I did even a few years ago you know, because I just don't give a fuck.

84 Human connections for me end the moment I stop talking to someone - they're strangers again - until I talk to them next time, then they're strangers when the dialog stops again -- emotional connections are very rarely established.

85 I get familiar with people over time, but almost never feel even a fleeting urge to know any more about them or spend any more time with them than I have to.

86 Maybe if people had something different to say, I mean like EVER, but the only place that happens is with fictional characters - designed to be concatination of multiple other people, none of which are of any interest on their own.

87 I can empathize of course, but that's VERY heavily dependent on the value a person has to me: hearing some rando down the street lost their wife to cancer doesn't even remotely interest me, let alone give me the feels.

88 And I did start to legitimately care about the Lovebunny, until about the point I realized she is just as self-absorbed as I am: always her problems and her bullshit and anytime I'd stop outputting 100% sympathy, I became a bastard and an arsehole, of course and of course that happened increasingly because it's hard to output 100% pity ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

89 We're actually remarkably well matched for selfishness.

90 Anyway, gotta get on with this gift site: I have until December to get it done, but knowing how on-and-off my development urges can be, best get it moving sooner than later.

91 I would not mind actually, creating "gift" sites for others too, then hosting them here - I'm paying for the server anyway, what's a few more sites right?

92 Any individual site starts getting too much traffic, I'll tell em they have to contribute to a monthly server upgrade, though I doubt that'll happen: with 2 CPU cores and 4Gb RAM it would take a very busy site to start slowing shit down.

93 The actual development 'environment' chews more resources than any site visits actually - I've had over 20,000 Russian bots spam the site without any slowdown at all, but Visual Studio - I've recently researched - installs the entire environment on the web server, so the editor you're using is no more than a window to the linux server it's streaming back and forth from, so this editor leaves little left for actual visitors - why we get 503 errors when I'm fucking with the site.

94 But VS Code is the best text editor I've used so far and now I've started googling it's features and found the console actually live-connects to an SSH shell I just gotta press CTRL+J to open the commandline and start typing linux commands anytime I like, which is how I know VS Code is using so many processes.

95 Know I spent the entire evening the other day trying to get a javascript include to work - nothing I fucking tried did anything: finally, right before going to bed I see I've stupidly left a second pair of

Day 23: Smaller, faster, lighter

Tuesday, 27th September 2022

How we want it to be.

102 I've also created Octobers diary file, ready to go fresh in a few more days and another chance to divert my stream of thoughts away from programming and toward more universally interesting subject matter, which will be here soon, now there's more to do than complain about the cold all the time.

103 *...

Day 22: Why's sugar make it flat?

Monday, 26th September 2022

I have a question..

109 Since soft-drinks already come packed with sugar, why's does it go flat when you add sugar?

110 I don't even drink the shit, but heard someone mention flat coke in a podcast then wondered that - since we've all added sugar to soft-drinks as a kid and quickly learnt that causes the bubbles to leave.

111 Obviously a chemical reaction, but you would think all the sugar in soft-drink would react with the carbon dioxide right?

112 I dunno.

113 Tell you what I really need: a woman who's as into tech as I am, who loves the site enough to push me to do more, faster or - better yet - a woman with a site of her own.

114 A chicklet who understands the open-palette of programming is just as creative as any pencil or paintbrush, just a more intelligent means of expression with a much greater potential for interaction.

115 And yes, I'm copying the debug info output code to logged-out peasants, so they can see what I've been talking about.

116 Because sharing is caring, you welcome

117 Tell you what else, I might have to start sticking to a month-long diary schedule: this file is currently at over 50,000 words in length yeah and while it's still loading in only a second or two, I'm about to add a shitload of extra conditionals that all have to be rolled-through for every line on the page - like, conditionals nested inside conditionals inside conditionals inside conditionals, for every line - and I have the feeling this may slow the page down when it's finally all done.

118 Now, to fuckin' hammer-out this onClick code..

119 Know what always has sucked about javascript: there's never any error reporting with it at all: any errors just mean it won't work until you blindly figure out what part is fucked, then it suddenly works.

120 Compare that to PHP, where any *minute* error is instantly met with a 500 white browser screen, yeah.. POS..

Live-editable Paragraphs, done..

122 Right from on the page itself - way it fuckin' should be.

124 Now to use JS to live style said elements when they're being edited, then figure-out the AJAX ENTER-to-save shit, after dinner.


Sunday, 25th September 2022

Fucking arsehole conditionals

131 Trying to get this ONE variable to carry-into another script last night - all night - until finally I just added another variable and re-wrote that section of code again, because I had to have that specific variable working.

132 Then I saw all the indentation irregularities and commented-out code that's no longer used at all so cleaned that up, because neat, pretty code looks just as beautiful as handwriting that's neat and pretty.

133 The variable in question $debug_mode also led to a whole headfuck in trying to decide how I want debugging to be enabled and who can see it or whether I want it global for all pages (easier) or have a debugging toggle for every page (less so), then finally added the page-level debugging plus the site-wide setting, so now I can switch visible debugging information ON or OFF for each individual page (allows me to see info for any of the pages I'm working on at the time if I like) but I can additionally toggle global debugging output on and off for the whole site.

134 Now I have 'em both holding their values across all scripts though, that's one less unforeseen hold-up out the way.

135 Peasant fuckers who aren't logged-in won't see anything of course, because that's the way I roll, but those who do will see what I mean: every paragraph in the diary is now labelled with it's line number, in a nice, unobtrustive darker grey and this is why I needed to sort out the debugging first - so I don't have to manually go back and edit out the line indexing when I no longer need to reference those line numbers for the Edit module - all I need do, is change $debug_mode from on to off and all debugging information I've added gets turned-off everywhere

136 Just as easy as turning a real light off when you leave a room!

137 These numbers might not appear consistent as you scroll down the page (one paragraph labelled [53] and the paragraph right under that labelled [58]) but that's exactly right: the markers aren't tracking paragraphs after all, but literal lines within the file, so because there's plenty of empty lines and paragraphs that're commented-out, yeah, I understand what I mean anyhow.

138 Do the light themed paragraph numbering in a minute, then add indexing to the titles and subtitles and start on the multi-pronged editing function after dinner, now I've got it indexing and keeping track of lines and have an accurate way to pinpoint a specific place in the diary file to replace.

139 The Computer Room's an alright podcast - just two arseholes talking, nice and quiet - and it's very relaxed, ergo not distracting, ergo good for background noise while you stick your concentration somewhere else.

140 It's not a programming show though: it's about "The Internet" in general and the effect of technology on society and humans though the chick who hosts the show's nowhere near as intellectual as I just made her seem, but average which is fine - she doesn't have to be a genuis to be worth listening to.

141 *...

142 *...

143 *...

144 So what the fuck do I want..

145 I want a PHP conditional{} first verifying it's me logged-in from the server-side, then printing ALL the code for a javascript onClick event listener whose function() will be to select the paragraph DOM object I clicked with getElementByID(), before replacing the innerHTML of that paragraph tag with a form containing a text input field then handing that over to AJAX to copy the original contents of that getElementByID() paragraph so it can be held in a $variable until the paragraph has had it's innerHTML replaced, then add that original text to the new text input.

146 All performed in the span of a few milliseconds: like a team of speedy midgets throwing stuff in a box before rushing it out express post.

147 Sounds super easy when I rattle-off the 'generalized' version of what will happen..

150 This new site's still a priority, but I want that to have click-to-edit functionality right out the gate, so have to create it here first: I want this other site to be a pleasure for them to use - no awkward forms or clumsy extra steps to update the content or any ugly shit on the pages.

Day 20: So much for rushing back..

Saturday, 24th September 2022

No time for this..

156 No time to sit and stream random thoughts or casually follow them evolve as I type.

157 It's almost 5:00PM and I've just walked in the door, when I'd planned to be sitting down to get started on the editing module two hours ago.

159 No doubt about it.

160 It'll be beautiful though: double-click to edit; ENTER to save..

161 And yes, I could go find PHP and Javascript libraries to do exactly what I want to do for me: take no time at all to slap a few lines of code in the page and call it done, sure.

162 But I don't just want the functionality, I want to learn how to do it and know how it's working with the rest of my code: using some shit I download off github teaches me nothing but how to be lazy and would leave 'gaps' in my knowledge.

163 So far I've written every line of code in this site and not only know exactly what every file, function and class does, I know how all of them work together, with each other.

164 Adding-in pre-build libraries would be like creating the shell of a sports car but buying the engine then calling yourself a mechanic -- only a wanker would do that.

165 It's no tiny module either: I need first, to change get_content() so it indexes line numbers in the diary so it always knows exactly which line each chunk of text lives on to read/write any edit; I need to find the best way to handle such a large amount of text as the current diary file (PHP having dozens of seperate file I/O functions) so I'm not filling the servers RAM every time the page is edited; I've got to make PHP, AJAX, Javascript and the page controls all play nice together and I gotta fine-tooth-comb over everything as I go to ensure I don't miss any holes in the logic that could cause issues later.

166 Lot of new moving parts that have to be integrated with all the existing code and all of it needs to get along flawlessly.

167 I could get things done faster, but experience has taught me a thoughtful approach pays-off better overall.

168 It's very easy when you move too quickly to find you suddenly have a broken site and SO MUCH new code all through all your existing code, you realize you have no fucking idea which parts are fucking everything up: it only takes a single ; or an unclosed " to fuck ten pages of code, because editors seem to never spot the missing punctuation mark, instead showing you 15 other errors further down the page all caused by that ONE missing character.

169 Rather do it slowly and get it right first try, than speed my way into a million errors and a headache from hours sifting through bugs that never needed to be there in the first place.

Wu-tang, wu-tang, wu-tang, wooo-tang

... gimme the mike, so I can take it away


173 Fuckit..

174 Sticks in your brainmeat whether you want it to or not.

175 And since I need some kind of background noise that won't distract me, I've tapped play on "It: Chapter Two" - only the second time I've seen it, but I don't need to watch a movie I've already seen.

176 And, again, anyone who saw the first movie from the 1980s, you should definately watch this much more contemporary version -- it shits on the original.

177 Especially Pennywise: the clown is played perfectly by, whatever new actor they cast, can't remember the name but they play the part much better than Tim Curry did back in the day.

178 The film is also a standout when you consider all the horror shit-for-films they release now that're SO formuliac, this is unique enough to be well, maybe not exorcist-grade scary, but yeah good.

179 The icing on the celluloid cake: the CG effects we have now are truly gorgeous as we know, and since this is a Stephen King story the budget for those effects is massive and you can see it throughout, but they've also used it (very wisely) for the spider at the end which is no longer a dumb-looking giant paper-machete joke, but a proper hell-spawned creature.

180 Matter of fact, now I think of the clown's many different tranformations I gotta say a lot of the monster design looks like it was given to the team who did the Hellraiser movies.

Day 19: The next frontier

Friday, 23rd September 2022

The functionality to Edit..

186 Currently playing: Fire water buuurrrn

187 I'll be centered on tech-babble tonight because I need to thionk-out precisely how I want to impliment this whole new layer of functionality.

188 I mean I already know precisely what I want and generally how to get it done, but need to ponder the best way to get the slickest result.

189 One of the beautiful things about programming in any language, is there's no 'only way' to do things: just like actual verbal languages consist of a large number of words arranged in infinate ways, programming languages are the same - there's no limit on all the different ways you can get to an end point.

190 So I gotta think.

191 While I do, I've got this documentary playing "Escape from Kabul" - about the airport when the western forces decided to finally leave Afghanistan to itself - and I honestly, yeah: I am shocked at how gutless the Afghans turned out to be..

192 Their army mostly, but the civilians too: for all those years they've complained about our military in their country - defending them from their own extremists stoning all their women to death - and the moment the allied forces announce they're pulling-out, the entire Afghan military just drop their guns and either surrender on the spot to the Taliban or run away like little bitches..

193 If you even shoved that to the side - the fact they won't even fight to defend their own lives now they just expect the western nations to do it all for them - I mean, foreign forces were in Afghanistan for over TWENTY YEARS and in all that time, the Afghan army didn't form a strategy for how they'd combat ISIS or other extremists, at all?

194 What were they just smoking hash those twenty years? Shooting herion while they bitched about American soliders being all up in their shit?

195 Why fight radical zealots when you can just hide behind a bunch of foreign soldiers for two decades right?

196 Now they're blaming us for their people falling off the planes that did successfully fly out: like being dumb enough to sit on the outside of a fucking B52 as it takes off is anyone elses' fault but the idiots who did it -- gaslighting motherfuckers: SO manipulative.

197 Yes, I am reacting a bit strongly to this documentary-length fuckin' sob story and yes I'm probably still fairly revolted by this concept of people choosing to be victims in that movie yesterday, but no it's nothing to do with racism: some of their women are just stunningly beautiful, which I would not think (or say), if I were racist.

198 I just think they are weak whiny bitches who use their 'victimhood' to scam the world into YOU GIVE US! YOU GIVE US!

199 Maybe I wasted all my sympathy worrying about a loveless woman every day for eight months..

200 Yes, you are now the loveless woman.

201 Don't look at me that way -- I've been an angel.

202 Anyway, back to what I want: to edit content directly on the page itself - to simply double-click a paragraph, then start typing in it, then press ENTER to save.

205 So how best to impliment my own gold standard expectations is really what I've gotta figure out -- I already know roughly how to code it.

206 Cos I'm kinda like Hans Solo always stroking my own Wookie I'm the root of all that's evil yea but you can call me crooky..

207 It's Visual Studio Code sucking my servers processes up: VS-Code creates a server for the editors use whenever I'm connected, which is actually very clever since it's shifting a lot of the processing requirements to the web server itself, which in turn lightens the load on my laptop yuh, but THAT in turn means anyone else who happens to want to to do shit like iunno, view web pages, has to just put up with the odd 503 error since my idling with an open SSH connection is sharing my load.

208 It's a trickle-down effect.

209 Course you know I LOVE sharing my load because I've shared it with YOU and we both know there's NO shortage of load to share.

210 Yes Ma'am.

Them pesky 503 errors..

213 I've just got the white screen of page-loading death, which I've noted is happening more since I started fucking around with the NodeJS applications: it means that the process limit has hit the ceiling (100/100 Processes) and as soon as a few are freed, page loads again.

214 The solution is as simple as creating a scheduled cron job to 'flush' any currently unused processes that got themselves stuck, which frees said processes and I haven't bothered setting up thus far (a maxed-out process limit doesn't usually last more than a second and only happens occasionally), though that one, that one lasted minutes

215 Time to fix it

Day 18: Speak No Evil

Thursday, 22nd September 2022

Great movie.

221 Starts off pretty slow, but builds to a potent statement about how fucking ridiculously weak the average, middle-class western human being has become.

222 It's interesting too, that contemporary society would label the two 'villans' of the movie psychopaths, which they may clinically be but the big message here: fuck psychologists with their pointess bookworm classifications - when the rubber met the road, the victims of this story were so gentle, they allowed themselves to be killed for the amusement of two arseholes -- the weak deserved to get eaten, for being so weak.

223 On the contrary the psychopathic couple were waving red-flags around in the other couples faces continuously - and this nice, affluent family were *so* softened by the safety of their lives in general, they weren't even capable of being RUDE - let alone actively aggressive in their own defense.

224 In the end, I found myself watching on with a smirk as the nice, gentle family was mocked, abused then murdered because they had more than enough opportunity to see how things were heading and act - instead, they made excuses that justified the psychopaths behaviour and normalize/accept it right up until the very end.

225 Even as the 'villians' cut the other couples childs tongue off with a pair of scissors this other couple just sat there in denial and did fuckin' nothing at all: so accustomed to living in the comfort of that false sense of security so many people these days have.

226 By the end of the movie, the statement this movie is making, that this family deserves what they got for being so fucking PASSIVE - uselessly accepting their fate, is true and I felt not a sliver of sympathy for either of them.

227 Like a culling of two soft-cock hippies who wouldn't even lift a finger to save or defend their own lives - of course they deserved it.

228 The villian of the show summed the moral of the story up perfectly, with a single line: towards the end when this weak as shit coward father asks "Why are you doing all this to us?" and our villian's only response: "Because you let me."

229 Well said dood and while I did not find myself taking the side of the killers, like I said I also did not give a solitary shit about the family who were murdered, because they were just SO pathetic with NO fight at all, they deserved it.

230 Great movie.

231 Great statement about how soft most 'nice' people are in society today.

232 I have sympathy for the daughter, since she was a child whose parents should have protected her, but the two parents - the world does not need spiritless, cowardly cocksuckers like them at all.

And back to Parabiosis..

234 Because I feel I should wind that thought up instead of leaving it simply hanging there like a loose thread..

235 In all the various experiments involving younger mice and older mice sharing their circulatory systems, the older mice benefited in countless ways - their entire biology improved purely by introducing young blood into their systems.

236 This may not be the fountain of youth, but it's literally a real, scientific example of vampirism that works: the fact the younger mice weren't usually damaged by the procedure too, means you cannot categorise this as parasitic parabiosis, which I know is one of the three primary types: symbiotic, parasitic and some other one..

237 It's true, literal vampirism: a vampiric 'recipient' having their life-force be improved in every way, by feeding off the blood of a younger 'host'.

238 What's creepy here though, is that after demonstrating positive results from the successful experiments with mice sharing blood, sometime around the 1970s all this research simply vanished from societies radar -- like there was no reason for it to be stopped, and no word it actually HAD been stopped: instead, seems like it was moved to more 'private' facilities, where societies morality could not get in the way of trials with human parabiotic proceedures.

239 It's like, imagine someone announced they'd found a procedure that is successfully curing all kinds of cancer, everyone starts cheering and talking about it, then all the researchers who made the claim - they disappear along with the test subjects, facilities and staff..

240 POOF! Gone without a word.

Just like you hey!

242 Makes you wonder, mm..

243 What'll I have tonight..

244 Sandwiches, vegetables and rice or porridge..

Putin you crafty old dog

246 Always ambiguously threatening to whip-out the nukes, but ambiguous is always the operative word: he's crafty in his omitting direct threats - I'll give him that - since every good politician surely knows that alluding to the mother of all bombs without directly saying their name (like Voltdermort) means he has verbal 'wiggle-room' to later say he was never actually talking about nukes, but something else and leaving the threat of nuclear options vague gets EVERYONE talking ("IT'S NUKES! IT'S NUKES!")

247 This time, because he wants more land but this time, it's some little hole in the map out back of shitsville somewhere - a tract of land that sounds, not worth occupying honestly.

248 What a linguist though!

249 Apparently too, every Russian is required to do a one year military induction between the ages of 18 and 25 or something?

250 Never mentioned that..

251 She'd look pretty cute in combat gear too - Kalashnikov hanging from one side

252 Actually, it's remarkable how popular that gun is: even in countries where guns are not easy to get, all around the world there's not a Call of Duty player who does not love that gun in-game and not an adult human alive who doesn't know the AK-47 is one of the sexiest firearms on earth

253 It was sure as shit my weapon of choice when I played..

254 I'd LOVE an AK-47 of my own god, just to have it in the cupboard.

Found a new show!

256 "Evil": about, well evil, but it's a comedy

Day 17: Vampirism is real!

Wednesday, 21st September 2022


262 They just don't have the fangs, receeding hairline and monobrow.

263 I am not talking about sad idiots who 'sup' on the blood of even sadder idiots who allow them to: pretentious wankers whose entire life is a cheesy fucking image because they read Bram Stokers novel and have such a PISS WEAK sense of their own identity, they feel the need to pretend to be a fictional character.

264 I am not talking about the Richard Chase's of the world: violently insane schitzophrenic human waste who'd stuff a baby in a blender then drink the resulting sludge and yes, this dickhead really did this.

266 I am not talking about those referred to loosely as "Psychic Vampires": people like my mother, who are so empty they spend their lives feeding like leeches from other peoples attention, sympathy and pity - mentally and emotionally draining anybody unfortunate enough to be close enough that they end up sucked-into the drama, hystrionics and bullshit - these people are miserable to their core and common as pond-slime, but I'm not talking about them.

267 All three of the above categories of so-called vampirism, you will plainly see, are just mentally ill and very sad.

268 I am also not talking about Vampire Bats: though these really are the closest thing we have to honest-to-god, legit Vampires in the classic definition, they are also small and fuzzy and cute, plus they're animals so cannot be 'evil', which excludes them from really being scary - discounting the Rabies here, I am.

269 But there's a forth category of vampire, one that's medically proven to absolutely, 100%, genuinely exist.

270 I'm talking about a series of scientific methods discovered in the last century that led to proof of the fact there are tangible benefits for the elderly, in draining fresh blood from much younger 'hosts' - fucking crazy right?

271 It got me thinking about that way in which Science Fiction has - repeatedly - somehow managed to unknowingly predict technology that once seemed like fantasy, but now is real and common all around us.

272 The entire notion of vampires - mythical monsters who absorb the live energy of others through consumption of their blood; the 'fantasy' of the pretty young womans' blood replenishing the life-force of the fictional ten thousand year-old Dracula.

273 Turns out though: THAT shit is FACT.

274 Wait, gotta get ready and go out..

275 Right: now I'm home and before you start thinking I have lost my mind completely: the science behind what I'm talking about.

276 The term is Parabiosis - click it and flick through the wikipedia page to get a general overview of what this bioligical mechanism is yeah.

277 Now, while the phenomenon exists in nature in various forms and between various organisms, the Parabiosis we are talking about is the artifically induced scientific studies - studies that very suspiciously vanished from the collective social 'radar' sometime around the 1970s -- just as results had begun to indicate success.

278 Let me find an article or two about the procedure for you two enlighten yourself on the facts of this bioligical shocker and then -- for the lazy -- I will summarize, briefly, with an overview.

279 This shit, is a fucking trip.. amazing what random shit you just happen to learn listening to sciencey podcasts..

280 First, from the National Library of Medicine website: The Fountain of Youth: A Tale of Parabiosis, Stem Cells, and Rejuvenation including a more focused description of the procedure as it's been successfully used with Mice: Parabiosis in Mice: A Detailed Protocol

281 Secondly, an article at Science Direct on how Parabiosis saw castrated male rats grow their nuts back: Parabiosis: An Overview

282 Still think I'm just dribbling shit about Vampirism being real?

283 Finally, *...

284 I just realized there's someone who could probably use a beautiful, bespoke website hand-coded with love before further realizing: they don't even know they want a hand-rolled site yet -- being unaware I've even decided to create it for them, as they are -- but they'll love it when it's done and they have a BIG social network of friends online who will visit their pretty new site -- it'll be free advertising in a lake of upper-middle-class friends, family, business associates and best of all - it doesn't even need to be a complicated site: just a prettier than average business-card type site.

285 So yeah I'm distracted by creative endeavors again: long story short - Vampirism is a real thing and a a thing scientifically proven to succeed.

286 It's just not as mysterious as Nosferatu

287 Or Nosferat-Roo, who as it happens is still waiting for me -- waiting for his cape and body


289 Messin' with ideas for new website first though; I can fuck around with zombie animals anytime I like.

290 And yes, of course: you know I would LOVE to create a site for you

291 No simple business-card shit for you either: any site I'd code for you would have to be as dynamic and complicated as you, unstable little goat.

Day 16: First time in eight months..

Вторник, 20 сентября 2022

I'm ashamed of you Baby.

321 You are so much better than cringe shit like that.

322 I thought so, anyway.

Day 15: Github..

Monday, 19th September 2022

Tracking every edit for a year..

330 When I first started the *.dev site, I installed a github repository there, thinking that'd be cool to track all the changes I made and whatever: be fun to see the site mirrored at github as a project yah..

331 Just a few minutes ago, I finally find an SSH extension that works fine, so I connect to the server, but completely unaware github was even still doing it's thing - tracking changes to the files on the site - I see the "Source Control" tab in the editor fucking ELODE with changes demanding I commit them..

333 What the fuck right - I don't even know how long that would take, but I found the answer: "Hide Source Control" simply removes that tab from my eyeballs so I don't gotta fuckin' think about it and now I look at the screeshot, on the right the little icon says "20K+" so I don't even know it's just those 10,000 changes need committing, but it's not happening.

334 Nice to get VSCode working again, but that Git repository shit - no, just nope.

Day 14: My mouse is fucked..

Sunday, 18th September 2022

Why is my mouse fucked..

340 Like most people I have other mice I've accumulated such as the dusty old Razor Naga I just found in a bag, but I don't wanna use this one, really..

342 With an insanely high DPI scan-rate meant for first-person shooter fluency, it's just too sensitive for normal windows mousing: move it 3mm and it's right over the other side the screen fucksake and I know, I'll change pointer speed to lower, but its not the same.

343 Once you get used to something that stops functioning it does not matter whether a "better quality" replacement exists, you don't want the replacement - you want the thing you are used to.

344 The one I like is just a shitty Logitech wireless mouse but it's not, not connecting at all

345 Even more fucked than that, are plans to dig-up and mine the bottom of the pacific ocean by mega-industries who want to farm nickel and cobalt or whatever the fuck other ores are needed to 'further the electric vehicle' industry.

346 We are talking much larger areas of the ocean floor than standard above-ground mining operations, which usuallty span a mile or two in size: these are mining operations that'll possibly wipe out populations of sea life we have not even discovered to date: approximately 80% of life-forms on the ocean floors are unknown to science.

347 They aren't able to get what they want from a few mines down there, so they want to dug up hundreds of sites across thousands of kilometers to mine the shit for batteries.

348 All so a planet-worth of current petrol-powered vehicles can be tossed in landfill to make room for another trendy status upgrade for the millions of wankers who don't even need the cars they already have.

349 Could be the cure for cancer in one of those ocean-floor species, or any number of other cures too.

350 Ultimately, because most people are fucking idiots.

351 Everyone loves to point their finger at the billionairs doing all this environmental damage, but it's every one of these idiots who happily buy the electric cars and a new phone upgrade every year who drive the market -- common people are more to blame than the millionaires, the latter of which will sell fucking anything as long as they have enough idiots who'll keep buying their shit.

352 If we did not have a planet filled with morons, nobody would bother digging-up the ocean floors because there'd be no market to warrant it.

Day 13: Done

Friday, 16th September 2022


358 I am cleared to work on any construction site, starting.. two hours ago..

360 Means I'll have to travel for work now, but the hourly rate increase more than makes up for that.

361 The actual physical card itself needs to be mailed out to us, so they give this certificate as a stand-in that's valid for the 60-days it'll take for the card to arrive.

Day 12: Go, another language...

Thursday, 15th September 2022

I'm getting kinda sick of them all..

379 On the one hand, it's great to know various lanuages to be flexible and so you can do something in any of the popular programming languages without needing a crash-course in each new one when you suddenly need to use it.

380 But really, I have never hit a wall with PHP: I'm yet to find myself limited by the language - if anything, I am holding-up PHP itself with my puny vocabulary and I'm still only using a tiny fraction of the libraries available to me - in just PHP.

381 Node.js, cannot do 'front end' - it can't process interactions from a user in a browser: that's what Javascript is for.

382 Instead, what it does is combine the Apache2 web server with PHP in a javascript format, but like PHP Apache Foundation has been working on it's near bullet-proof web server software for decades now and it's still running 90% of the internet..

383 I am seriously struggling to see why I should care about a half dozen new languages, when I really only need two: PHP for the server and Javascript for the browser.

384 Now I google Go and find everyone talking that up like it's the shit that's going to dethrone C, when C has been around since the 1980s and has always been the king of compiled languages, which I don't need to worry about anyhow since everything I do on a web servwer is with interpreted languages.

385 It just seems to me, that every company on earth is now releasing new programming languages and every time, those new frameworks are hailed as the most awesome thing since the three-button mouse, yet languages like PHP have been upgraded continually since the 90s, by *thousands* of volunteers in the community and have new shit added to them all the time, to handle new technologies and whatever we need the language to do.

386 Most notably: because NodeJS uses javascript and javascript was designed to be a super-lightweight language for browsers, you need to install a library to do literally everything -- it's functionally useless without all the libraries added to it: PHP, has all the functions you need already build into the language and speed-tests between PHP and NodeJS show the former is faster than NodeJS anyway.

Site gamification updates

388 Now some basic point system is in place, we need another class within Guido to act as an engine that can create javascript reward popups for critical strike awards, allow ways to spend the various points once they accumulate, auto-award title upgrades and bonus points for milestones and I also want bugs to scurry across the screen for a visitor to click to catch.

389 The +3 Bugs, bug has been squashed along with the +2 gold one though so they are all awarding, saving then outputting 100% correctly..

391 console and pop-up panel...

393 So all points are now awarded and saved flawlessly with a 14% chance per page-view of catching a bug, a 50% chance of +1 rep and, well, Gold and Love are highly variable depending on the page, with love the most frequently awarded -- Gold being second most common.

394 The chance (and amounts) of both Love and Gold is highest on the diary page, of course, but bugs and rep are universally the same proc-rate - regardless the page.

395 There's also the very low, 3x random chance of Love Crit'ing for +12 or +18 in the diary, like it just did..

397 I should also create the MySQL add/manipulate functionality too before it starts getting complicated.

398 Reputation is a 50% +1 point per page visit, but really most rep gains and changes will be awarded for choices and actions, which create user profile 'adjustments' based on good or evil behaviors:

399 It could be - for example - that you're given a choice of what you'd like to do with your bugs: release XX amount of bugs and you will be awarded +50 rep; feeding those bugs to Guido could award +500 love but leave your reputation alone and straight-up squashing bugs will earn you -5 rep for each bug you kill.

400 Course, I'm also undecided whether I really want Bugs, when I could have furry animals instead -- that's easily changed-out though once I settle on the life-form I like, and squashing furry things is much more evil than squashing bugs but also: I could leave the Bugs, but use them to feed higher omnivores, then feed those omnivores to a carnivore you might purchase with gold?

401 Not sure yet.

402 Once reputation gets to -1 or less your theme, icons, title and whatever other shit can be changed to reflect what an evil fucker you have become, while a positive reputation can be awarded light and fluffy title, theme, whatever.

403 What if you're a hippie, who never wants to kill or feed any animal to any other animal? Maybe you get an ultra-boost to +reputation and +love for being so kind..

404 We'll also want a 'lifetime' Bugs, Love, Gold, Rep - a value saved for all the stats - so we can see 'lifetime' statistics after points have been given away or traded: this will allow a whole later of additional stats with some basic maths between the different numbers.

405 I'm still thinking this out yet, but that's basically how I'll use reputation - which is always visible from the stats pop-up: displayed by hovering the mouse over the icon on the right side of the top navbar and there'll also need to be an increasingly complicated function to auto-award titles based not only on +/- reputation, but how you've treated your animals, how much gold you've held onto etecetera -- it cannot just be a linear formula like:

406    if ($reputation = 50) {
      $title = "Lurkier";

407 That would be far too simple.

408 None of this is visible unless you're logged-in naturally, because the gamification module doesn't get called unless you are.

What else we want..

410 Since we have icons in the top left and right corners, stands to reason - for balance - we want one in the lower left and right corners too.

411 One on the left can be the standard page menu popout, while the right can be the little 'who's lurking' bubble that's still here but hidden under the new layers, so invisible.

412 The menu can be nice and simple - since the console and popout stats panel provide enough detailed information on any page you might happen to be currently on, with page links but, more clever because that's how I roll.

413 I also want a hover-activated 'micro' stats box that shows user-related/account links, so I don't need to filthy-up the lower-left menu when I create it -- we keep that one purely for pages.

Also, ideally..

415 I would like a centered circular loading wheel that's displayed on each page until that page has finished loading: a slick, simple circle with a number in the middle of it that live-updates each line of the page as it loads, disabling controls on the page for the second or two it takes to load diaries when they get to the size this one is, so nobody's trying to click shit then finding it not working because the page isn't loaded fully.

416 I only really want it as an aesthetic, finishing touch to the diary itself, but if I'm going to create it, may as well just code it as an include that can go in every page right?

417 Something as simple as this: but with an animated red circular slider...

419 For small, fast pages, it will simply flash on screen a millisecond before clearing, but the visual progress slider can be color-tinted to fit each page anyway, now we have a $page_tint for every page, set and I'm sure there are plenty of examples of how to create a live page loader online I can use to get the general idea, but I already know I want it to first count every HTML tag within each page, then start the progress wheel with the first HTML tag downloaded and -- crucially -- update live as each tag loads until it reaches the end - which is always the last line in a page: /html closing tag.

420 Of course I know I can create a cheesy animation that fakes loading a page, but I want this one to do it as it's happening which means I'll have to have an open connection between the server and browser going on for those few seconds and that's the bit I'll have to google an answer for.

421 Also a markdown scanner - though anything like that I code myself from scratch will be less comprehensive than a drop-in solution from github that has dozens of contributors working on it, I can at least have a script to convert paired askterisks for *italic*, **bold**, ***bold italic*** and whatever else I commonly use to save me writing the HTML tags every time - like code = maybe that could be ^code^ instead, fucked if I know - haven't got to that yet.

423 God, I have to get up at 5:30AM tomorrow - that fuckin' blows.

Day 11: Know what I fuckin love?

Wednesday, 14th September 2022

Error free code..

430 Error free code that works the first time I click save, because I know the syntax and language I'm using well enough to nail every punctuation mark in beautifully formatted code the first time I type it.

431 Knowing when I get an idea, exactly which function I need: knowing as I type it there'll be no 500 error code, because it's right.

432 Know what I don't love?

433 The shit you are talking about doing.

435 Don't love that at all.


437 Thinking about these randomized award chances, I've got a lot of nested randoms and random chances that only proc if the previous random number procs.

438 Question is: if I take, say, a random number between 0 and 2 and 1 is the proc, which triggers another random number between 0 and 2 which then triggers a final 1-in-3 chance of proccing, is that a 3% chance, or something else?

439 I know I can google that and find some kind of answer in all the maths noise, but I'm trying to figure it out myself..

440 A 1 in 3 chance, that's 33.3%..

441 The next two are also 33.3% chances, so I guess it's 0.33 x 0.33 x 0.33?

442 Calculator tells me that's 0.035937%, but.. oh wait! That's almost 3% and probably correct!

443 3.5% technically.

444 Two 30% randoms - by that calculation - is around about a 10% chance.

445 Bugs are set to a single 15% chance of awarding 1 bug - so 6% chance each page.

446 Super rare, them live Bugs.

Day 10: I feel, like I'm getting fat

Tuesday, 13th September 2022

Maybe I'm just having a fat day..

452 Like women so often get: ya'll have frumpy days around the time of your monthly cycle..

453 LIKE that, but without the tits and bleeding pussy, yeah you get me.

454 Or maybe, I've just put on weight over winter, from not working.

456 Looking around town confirms I'm not actually fat yet - not compared to half the local population - but mm..

457 Better start working soon! Before I start blending-in with the pudgy locals!

461 Could be that, anyway

462 Why the fuck would anyone be ringing me from Brisbane? You KNOW that's a spam call: halfway across the country from a city I don't know anyone from..

463 And again tonight, it's cold the moment the Sun stops shining on anything.. that cold shade..

Day 9: Fucken, OI! Babycat!

Monday, 12th September 2022

My neck is sore

473 Runs right down between my shoulder-blades and is very annoying.

474 Doubtless from being in front of a laptop so much, though I've got a fair bit done this weekend.

475 What I gotta do today..

476 Wash clothes, wash myself, hassle my little Russian she-bear, eat, hassle she-bear..

477 I really need to stop storing my site data in actual files on the server - currently it's just the stalk_user() details of each visit that are stored in MySQL - but it's been so long since I've fucked around with the database, I know I'll have to dig through the code to figure out how the fuck I did that, then rewrite all my current settings to the DBase - it's a fuckin pain in the arse and I wouldn't be creating anything *new* doing that.

478 Besides, the file-saving method makes accessing those files (for me) easier and more direct - since I can just login the admin panel, open the files and read them, while the apache htaccess and linux folder permissions mean only the scripts I'm writing and myself have access to those files anyway, so the only negative to using them is they're a little bit slower than SQL.

479 'Pussycat Pussycat I love youuuu.. yess, I, dooo'

480 Latest show I've started watching is Deadwood which is gloomy enough and even though westerns and the American frontier are about as exciting as watching paint dry for anyone not born in that country, the acting looks to be good enough to warrant watching.

481 Honestly though, I'll never understand why the 'frontier' theme has reached out and permeated so much of movies and media: bunch of arseholes all spitting on one another, fucking their horses and riding their wives; a whole section of people living like animals - I don't see why it's idolized to such a degree.

482 For me, it makes me think "Thank fuck I am not living there!" and I would wager 90% of people watch this kind of frontier shit for exactly the same reason - makes them thankful they don't have to live there and then.

483 'What's new Pussycat, woah-a-woah-a-wooooah-oh'

484 And that +3 Bugs thing that's bullshit - a bug can you believe that!?

485 A fucking BUG! In MY code! What the FUCK!

Day 8: Ты просто расслабься 💕

Sunday, 11th September 2022

Красивая кошка ❣

492 Of course.

499 Так и сделай - успокойся и дыши

In other matters..

501 I got the awarding of points randomized within around half an hour last night of my saying that's what was needed, with a mildly complicated group of nested random conditionals: now, ordinary (randomly 0-2 points) awarded points, plus it has a 1/6 chance of randomly landing on a 'proc', as well as a further 1-in-3 chance of that proc turning into a 'critical strike', which *multiplies* the awarded 4-6 points by an another 2-3 times - granting a maximum of 18 love points for the maximum crit.

502 Clever, yes, though I've only added the nested randoms with proccing and critting to this diary page (words_2) to start with, it;s easy enough and gives me full control over exacty how much and what range of points can occur.

503 Bugs are now globally set to randomly have as 50/50 chance of being awarded, for example, on every page so you're just as likely to get four bugs in a row, as you are no bugs for six page refreshes - it's no longer statically just awarding points every time.

504 Course I don't expect that to mean anything to my gloomy Russian Doll, who, like me would have been right at home in the Victorian Era, but whatever - I still have to keep my brain active so it doesn't shrink down until it reverts to an animal state.

505 Gotta keep using your brain people: stop it literally withering like an unused, necrotic muscle.

506 Speaking of my gloomy Russian Doll..


Day 7: Beautiful as ever

Saturday, 10th September 2022

Last flush before Autumn?

515 I wanted to post a photo of Kittens, cat, but she would not let me, but she gave me alternatives - like these surprisingly spring-like sunflowers

517 Winter is coming Baby!

518 Then I'll finally get to see some proper Russian Winter days - the kind that make everyone here look like whiny little bitches for even mentioning the cold: -30oC, my god!

519 Yeah I know I know, it isn't always that, but -30 or -20 or even -15 is RADICALLY colder than anything we get in Australia

520 I am going I'm going

Roll-your-own Gamification

522 Oh I know there are scripts already created for this.

523 Scripts I can just download, unzip and upload, change some configuration details and BAM: working out the box.

524 But I don't want someone elses bullshit running on my site: partly this is because the whole point of the DEV site was to start with an empty directory and limit myself to only what my programming ability allows me to create myself, but also because I legitimately LOVE the creation process itself - starting from nada and making it up as I go.

525 Because I'm coding everything myself from nothing, I get to decide not only how the site overall will function - what features seem important to me and shit like that - but things like naming conventions and file manipulation: just take the diary for example; rather than use an existing library for file I/O that's already written by some other arsehole, I started right off with the concept of diary data files with the actual extension *.diary, then gradually I fucked around with that until I had two distinct parts of every diary file: the meta section and the writing section, with both being represented by two self-contained classes within Guido - get_meta() and prose_injection().

526 Not only does this mean that naming your diaries is as simple and intuitive as january.diary, february.diary, etcetera because I simply created a file format for them and extension that makes sense, but you can write any garbage-text anywhere you like in any order within your *.diary file and these two classes will sift-through the entire file line-by-line, extracting only what's intended to be send to peoples browsers - ignoring everything else.

527 This means you can use your diary files not only as a data-file for diary content (and pages), you can also use them as notebooks - randomly adding any text or reminders or ideas anywhere you like in that file and all that shit will be skimmed-past in the assembly of the page.

528 I could never have done this if I'd started with someone elses ideas on what a diary system should be like or installed some 'community' maintained library of a thousand little script snippets, because all that 'ground floor' conceptual shit has already been domne by other people long before I ever decide to even download the zip file.

529 Now, with my gamification system, I have complete freedom to name everything how I like, decide how it will function and tweak it once its down until it evolves into exactly what *I* want it to be.

530 Starting now, with the method of user record keeping, I have kicked it off with three different types of currency that accumulate easily at the moment and while they seem superficially similar, all three are thematically so different I can already see how they could be used later.

531 The three currencies I'm starting off with are as different as Fire, Earth and Water - Bugs, Love and Gold.

532 Anyway, I'm just creating the function that'll see a logged-in user does not have their own account file so it can create one for them: soon as that's done Pussycat, you'll have your own digital bank of gold, bugs and love - the latter of which you already have a steady stream of because you're so fucking lovable, but now the site can award you more each time you visit a page

533 It's working just fine for me,.. just gotta make it to automatically create accounts now

534 Plus replace the text with little icons so it doesn't take up half the navbar and look shitty, then make the awarding of points a bit more complicated so they're not just predictably added every page view, which is obviously too simple..

535 Main thing is to get it starting to accumulate currencies - we can figure out how to spend them later

536 Done!

537 It's only been added to the home page at the moment, but it will create a 'bank account' for your currencies the next time you visit that page while you're logged-in - then it'll continue to award points each time you visit the page

538 I've even got it to align well in the console: up the top on the right without interferring with the console text itself

539 Soon as I've smoothed it out visually I'll add it to the other pages too, plus start building on the code.

540 Now, a cricket icon I need x

541 NO, WAIT!

542 Just as I was about to start drawing a cricket image I realized - we don't want crickets, but bugs: bugs are more general - no need to pick a specific one.

543 I should decide anything else I want to add too before the files start getting filled with worms, beetles and flies...

544 But seriously, that text won't do: I make iconify it all nice and pretty

545 And add "reputation" to the currencies - that be useful.

546 Now it's working, we need a 'Pavlov's Dogs' reward mechanism: always, reliably watching your balance increase - that shit will never do.

547 There's a reason people keep throwing money at online games like Call of Duty Mobile: the fact that 9 times out of 10 you get nothing (or nothing worth even picking up) is what keeps people playing: the chance for that epic gun, armor, skin, whatever-the-fuck it is, you have to normally get nothing for that feeling you scored big when you DO finally get an item worth the wait.

548 I gotta add some randomization to points, so there's variability: make maybe gold be a rarely awarded thing, and love something that's common but can critical strike for double or triple the base-rate

549 Figure that out later: course it can't even just be one random-number-based chance, that would get predictable too - has to at least be a randomized chance, PLUS a randomized amount and then if you want it to 'crit', need another randomized chance nested in those two as well.

550 Right after dinner and the next episode of Chapelwaite, which I started watching last night and isn't half bad: yeah it's slow, but it has that Sleepy Hollow, Victorian Gothic drabness to it I love so much, I WISH I could zap back to the 1800s purely for the aesthetics and atmospere of the era

551 Fuckin' LOVE porridge.. simple peasant food sure, but reliably excellent peasant food I could eatas my only meal for life, I think - fat, sugar and carbohydrates: it has everything our tastebuds adore

Day 6: Home we go!

Friday, 9th September 2022

To practice this 'focus' thing..

557 Site updates are my weekend -- they're long overdue.

558 I have been wanting to start using json as a vehicle for my various variables for a while now, time to finally implement it - along with some other things I have to create all new code blocks to process.

559 Like gamification: I will start on that this weekend too as well as user objects to carry everything between scripts.

560 Also logged-in user accounts: though Guido logs like, 20-odd details of every page visit from every visitor I have not actually created the functionality to save information associated with a user who has logged-in: I'm talking number of visits to each specific page, settings options and the code to save points for the aforementioned gamification - so far, only user network identification details are saved to the mysql database and the only 'settings' option is the theme, which is saved in a simple cookie.

561 I need to create the code so any additional information belonging to a user can be saved server-side and json is the perfect data type for that, so I'll do that over the weekend.

562 Also I gotta remove some redundant code that's no longer needed, even though it's still being executed every page, plus clean up some bits and pieces.

564 And you know, last night I installed Oracles virtual machine software on the other laptop - a laptop that (while ten years old now) is still very fast because it's a gaming laptop from back when AMD and INTEL were at the peak of their hardware war - and after downloading a few of the more common linux distributions then running them as virtual machines within Windows, I found a distro that's created and maintained by what is termed an 'offensive security' company, which, translated, means they are paid to crack into large systems to find vulnerabilities present in the networks of large corporations and government computers, so they can be patched and secured.

565 Further reading-up informed me Kali Linux was created specifically for hacking and - unlike most of the popular linux distros - comes already packed with thousands of hacking tools - from password crackers to de-compilers to shit the government used to keep secret for recovering deleted files from the header fragments: all these tools are already pre-configured and ready to use, so there's a whole LAYER of complexity in using them, already taken care of.

566 Of course, I've never given any thought to hacking or trying to learn any of the shit that goes with it, mostly because it means downloading tools designed to do dodgy shit to other peoples systems, so I never had any reason to trust the tools themselves, let alone use them: but here, we have what is basically a workshed full of tools - all ready to be used from the moment you install the operatong system - so maybe I'll actually play around with some, since they're there anyway right?

567 It's certainly MUCH more appealing than having to google tools, then find the download site to get them, then install and figure out how to use them.

568 So I create and configure a virtual machine for Kali, then hit 'start' to boot the live installation from *.ISO and find a very slick looking user interface, that's good - doesn't look the same as all those fucking Gnome desktops, awesome.

569 The very first program I run in this linux install, is the terminal of course, so I can see what's installed and find PHP, C++, C, PERL, RUBY, Python and MYSQL are already fully installed as defaults within this 'hackers' operating system - that impresses me even MORE than any of the tools it's meant to have for hacking and this is simply the standard 3.5 gigabyte LIVE disk image (ISO) for installing to USB drives!

570 Not only are ALL the languages pre-installed and ready to use, they're ALL the latest versions: PHP *IS* version 8.2, Python is version 3.x.. fucking excellent!!

571 So now I'm home I've got the full 11 gig installation ISO, which said it has "Every tool you could possibly need" so I can use that instead - first I'll try it as a VM with 4 of the 8 CPU cores dedicated to it and if I like it as a virtual install, I'll wipe windows completely and install Kali solo.

572 Given the 'standard' ISO was 3.5gb and this 'everything included' ISO is 11gb, that's what, a full 7.5 GIGABYTES of additional tools and options: what a fuckin' trip.

573 Having ALL the developer tools and languages ready to use too, that's fucking awesome - even the web server I PAY for does not have Ruby STILL

574 80% downloaded!

575 ELEVEN fucking GIGABYTES - my god.. monster-big operating system.

576 And you just KNOW it also has an apache web server running too, though I only checked for languages last night.

577 *...

Day 5: Focus Kitten, focus

Thursday. 8th September 2022

Это то, что нам нужно, мой котик!

584 I wonder sometimes, the cognitive effects of online social media and media in general: the number of platforms fighting for eyeballs and the fucking shit they'll do to hold those eyeballs..

585 I don't know about you, but my focus drifts so often it's hard to concentrate solely on any specific thing for blocks of time unless that task is fully engaging me and not only have I avoided silly shit like tik-tok for the unproductive time-waster it is, I don't even use facebook or twitter or any other social media platform anymore.

586 Still, just with streaming services like Netflix and the ocean of podcasts there are to listen to all day, plus spotify - those three alone are enough to suck your focus away from you.

587 We have to do something about this because focus used to come so easily and we need it to be more productive

588 You see right here: I just got distracted from what I was saying, by a pointless (but admittedly cute) animal fact: splooting.

589 Know how dogs and cats splay out on the floor - all four legs stretched-out in front and behind them?

590 This is "Splooting", they do it to maximize their contact with cool surfaces for heat exchange - being unable to sweat as we know.

591 You see what I mean?

592 It's impossible not to get distracted out your train of thought and no matter how adorable the animal fact, I did not NEED to know that.

593 Annoys me, the way my focus gets snatched away - stolen.

594 Here's another example.

595 Focus on your toes Babe: wiggle your toes for a moment and be aware of them.

596 With just a few words of text I shifted your focus away from this page and onto your toes - easy as that - and while I only distracted your train of thought for a fraction of a second, it's not the length of time it occurs that matters, but the frequency of distractions from so many sources -- always flooding our brains with informational "white noise" -- that causes us all to find concentration difficult.

597 Cutest baby cat on the planet, you

598 Splooting fucksake..

599 What am I doing that's causing me to be annoyed by the distraction of random animal facts?

600 Setting up a linux virtual machine on my second laptop, though I'm very tempted to just wipe windows and go the fill linux install, that's not the best option honestly.

601 Why am I installing linux on a local machine when I have this linux web server to play with?

602 Learning Babycat!

603 Learning, is GOD

Day 4: Like a snake shedding skin

Wednesday, 7th September 2022

No 'official' eviction notice yet

614 Still..

615 I want to be evicted.

616 I want to shed my skin.

617 And you with the heart of an injured Doe - sexiest woman who's ever graced my orbit: Ты великолепен

618 Помни что, PussyCAT!!

619 Ordinarily, I would consider the pet name Pussycat tacky you know, but for her: spoken WITH the Russian accent, it couldn't be a better fit


621 The beautifully feline features, stunning green cat eyes and overall persona also fit the alias like a glove Xox

635 Know what, I'm not even wasting diary text complaining about the utter incompetence of beurocratic desk-weights who refuse to service their clients like they're paid to.

636 Told her she either gets that clearance moving and confirms I am booked in for my white card next week, or I switch to a provider who has a fuckin' clue what they're doing.

637 Okay she's got something definitive done, so slightly less incompetent currently, maybe.

638 Still I want that forklift license and fresh Clearance since both expand my pool of work options: at least the White Card is on the way - that alone allows me work that almost doubles my hourly rate from the scabby minimum wage it was.

639 Comes with double the difficulty of work no doubt, but that's fine: an hour is an hour and the earnings for each of those hours, the better - simple equation.

640 Most annoying: it's interupted my pining over how красивая ты are

642 Beautifuuul

643 Sitting here, mushing my banana to make a sandwich and I remember what I told my little Russian doll last night: every now and then I'll be eating bread, when it occurs to me - it's kind've remarkable, really: that yeast mixed with warmth and the sugars in flour can be enough to create this alchemical by-product we love to eat.

644 That so few ingredients can turn dry, powdery and utterly inedible flour, into fluffy bread - astonishing, really when you think about it.

645 Almost as astonishing as her googling until she found exactly which part of my knee it is that was most likely damaged years ago when I leaped off a 1-meter high rock wall unto the one knee, instead of using both legs to brace my impact and how she still worries it will be damaged further through strenuous work

646 And, again, with a diary entry spanning a full three months now I know I should have started a new *.diary file two months ago and should definately do it now -- just to allow the page to refresh that much quicker -- but now I think about it, I am curious: how long could my diary actually get to be before it's noticably slow to load?

647 How long will the code I've created to process every line on the page - one by one every page-load - stay as fast as it is?

648 We're at 40,000+ words currently and there's zero indication of any bottle-neck going on or any slowness, so what if I just keep on going for the rest of the year on this single *.diary file?

649 Wonder how quick it'll be when we have 100,000 words being processed.

650 Let's find out

Day 3: Красивый, Детка..

Tuesday, 6th September 2022

Вы можете перестать пилить меня в любое время

656 Just go back to being the adorable sexkitten, anytime you like

657 How cute's this: our first official Guido avatar

659 HER first, since she drew him and that's not just a photo with clothes pasted over it - she drew it from nothing with various Brushtail Possum reference images - toldya she's better than me.

660 Right there you see why I would LOVE her to illustrate all my site images

662 The good news: I am going to do the three day training for my forklift license plus white card the latter of which is required to work on any construction site and construction work - due to the risk of injury and/or sudden death - pays much, much better than snoozy cleaning ever will.

663 The forklift license isn't AS important, but still matters given how common these fuckers are in construction generally but it's the white card I most want and I am off to get it next wed-fri at some hole in the ground town in the western suburbs - getting there will be more work than the three days training no doubt.

664 Other day I told someone they can sign me right up now for a construction general hand job in Penrith: $45/hr full time - "I will travel two hours a day for that shit, yes! Let's go!", then she's asked whether I have the white card and well, there went that job.

665 But in two weeks time, I will have the card and will happily go to Penrith for a building site job paying that much.

666 The bad news: I'm on the edge of being evicted, and my lovebunny hates my guts, understandably kinda, but kinda not: I've long felt trapped here - in the shitty unit, the shitty town, the lack of opportunity and any way to escape that trap seems like a pretty good option right now.

667 Still, I've 'reached out' to the landlords and offered to start paying them rent again, I just don't know whether it's too late now or not.

668 Even if it IS too late, I'm not planning on making a show of being homeless this time.

669 You will remember the last time I was homeless, I was pinned to Katoomba because the sack of shit bitch I was in love with was here and I refused to leave.

670 This time, I can grab a backpack full of shit and get on a train to a much more populated area where there's services and accomodation - there's nothing keeping me in this town anymore.

671 Literally nothing.

Day 2: So cold again today..

Sunday, 4th September 2022

Come onnn spring..

677 Sick of it: sick of cold air seeping in and wrapping everything.

Day 1: Simple

Saturday, 3rd September 2022


683 A simple switch(){case} conditional and we have custom favicons for every page.

684 I am pretty fixated on this lately: the site and the game and while the game is still in it's conceptual phase, I've started drawing up the home area map and a few characters.

685 Really, I want my Russian stunner to do the artwork - her's are just so much richer - because I don't have the patience for drawing the way she does so I just draw everything in vector lines, so hers are superior.

686 But, for conceptual purposes vector's fine and much easier to edit and change.

687 Now do replace that outdated clock in the top-right with something relevant to the site: cute at the time, every fucker with online access accesses that online with a device that shows the time right in the top or lower corner of their screens, so an in-line clock is silly.

688 Unless I set it to Russian time or server time, though server time is dumb - this server is physically located in Chicago - I know that - and I don't care what time in is there, so mm.

689 Oh, 'nother movie worth seeing I watched last night: A Quiet Place: about these creatures that hunt by sound, so the only way to stay alive is be, quiet.

690 It's horror/creature which don't usually do much for me but this film is well enough produced to work: especially the star of the show - the young deaf chick - who has something on screen and I don't know.. she LOOKS different, kind of eskimo in appearance, but anyway good movie

691 There's also A Quiet Place 2 - I started but it was too late to finish - which is as good as the first: like they actually thought about part 2 before creating it, so it wasn't just an afterthought like most sequels are and - since they were made within a few years of one another - contains the same cast for both movies, which is a nice change.

692 But now, Kong: Skull Island, because why not - it IMDB'ed 7/10 and who doesn't love a giant monkey film.

693 Kong Marsupial..

694 Several of the actors look much like monkeys themselves.

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